Interview with the Swedish translator of The Martha Stewart Show
Dear Martha,
You won’t believe your ears, but I’ve found the woman texting The Martha Stewart Show here in Sweden: Anna. And it’s the colleague sitting next to Vanilla Dream at her office!
Of course I had to ask her some questions.
How come you’re texting The Martha Stewart Show?
- I’m a translator and a subtitler and all of a sudden Martha was just sitting there on my desk. I was asked to do an episode of the show and accepted.
How many programs have you texted so far?
- Oh, perhaps ten episodes. Martha is a talky lady, she speaks much and she speaks fast, and it takes more time to texts her show than say a nature programme with panoramic shots of elephants tramping about a quiet savannah. We’re paid by programme running time and you have to spend quite some time on every episode, so there isn’t much money to be made off of Martha.
What episode has been the most challenging one?
- As for the topic, I think it was the episode on moss. How to grow and arrange moss in your garden. I had no idea there were so many varieties – and to find all those Swedish names, oh my. But generally, the difficulty is in the talking. The speed, the amount and the anarchy.
Most fun?
- I remember, I laughed a lot when texting one where Marthas’s daughter Alexis and Jennifer Koppelman Hutt are visiting the show. Alexis and Jennifer are hosting the show “Whatever Martha!” (main theme: to mock the Martha Stewart Show). Also, Rosie O’Donnell was there and all of them were supposed to decorate pots with seashells. Nobody is decorating anything (except Martha of course) because they’re so tangled up in a debate about what Martha made Alexis do as a child instead of watching TV (weed the garden, clean the chicken coops, take care of the goats, the geese, the pig etc) and how this has affected her as a grown-up. “Habits are formed early”, Martha says with authority. End of discussion.
In general, what’s the hardest thing texting the show?
- Besides the constant babbling that you have to fit into two lines, each line containing merely 37 characters… When she’s cooking…. Oh, I can’t stand it when she’s cooking or baking… Every sentence is cut midway… She interrupts herself…changes the subject…talks to the audience or her staff at the same time… So, what you end up with is a lot of sentences ending in “…”. See how annoying it can be…?
Do you translate the measurements into Swedish ones, or do you keep the American? (Since we have another unit of measurements than overseas)
- I always convert to make it useful to the Swedish viewers. However, I don’t particularly like to write 2.36 dl (the equivalence of 1 cup), it doesn’t look neat. In those cases I round off. Oh no, maybe I’ve ruined masses of home-made cupcakes and strawberry shortcakes by doing so?
Have you learnt any tricks for cooking and crafting during your work?
- Yes, I have. Mostly cooking. How to make a genuine noodle soup is a favourite.
After a day at work, have you ever gone home and made any of Martha’s cooking, baking or crafting?
- Not that I can remember, but she does plant cravings in me! If a show is all about beetroots, I can definitely see myself drop by the supermarket and pick up beetroots. She a natural when it comes to inspiring people.
At last, if you were a guest at the show, what kind of cooking or baking would you teach Martha?
- Can I rephrase that question? I’d like to teach her manners. Perhaps even the Jante Law. She’s a compulsory conversation hijacker! You can have the sweetest guest telling the most interesting thing, and Martha just has to interrupt to brag about her dogs or mention a dinner party she gave last Saturday – just to redirect the focus on… yes, herself.
I’d love to see Anna as a guest at the show! Entertaining.
Love, Josefin
